The Faithful Departed

November begins with the feasts of All Saints and All Souls.  I wanted to get this out to everyone as a reminder in advance of All Souls in the event you wanted to do something for All Souls.  Halloween and All Saints Day often take up much of my energies and attentions at the end of the month of October that the Feast of All Souls often gets forgotten.  We live in a culture that seems obsessed with death.  I don’t even like to take my kids into Blockbuster because many of the movies have incredibly gruesome covers, which of course, my children like to pick up and ask questions about.  I don’t care for this kind of macabre, but I think that a healthy curiosity about death and the afterlife is natural and beneficial.  In Hispanic cultures, they call this feast day, “The Day of the Dead.”  It's a big celebration.  Some of my children have done cooking projects and posters on this topic for their Spanish classes. I am including a recipe below for a popular bread that is served during this feast day in Mexico. 

Opportunities to Discuss Death

Just coming off of Halloween, where we have been inundated with images of death, provides us a good opportunity  to discuss death with our children.  I'm sure you have told your kids countless times that there are no such things as ghosts, or zombies, or Inferi. I have had this discussion often with my eight-year-old in recent days. I will concede that occasionally God has used spirits of saints to help humans, but this has never been a frightful event and very, very rare.  Check out the book: Father Philip Tells a Ghost Story. (From Amazon. Click here.) for a Catholic view of “ghosts.” I like being up front about death with the kids.  It is a bittersweet event that we will all experience.  It is like another birth—painful, but necessary and a much better option than our prior existence.  Ask your children if they would still like to be in your womb. 

Another reason to celebrate All Souls Day is the chance to remember our family members who have passed away.

Remembering and Praying for Our

Deceased Family Members

I have children who do not remember my mother who died 12 years ago.  She was a big part of their life when they were younger, but sadly now, they have forgotten her.  Before my husband and I moved away from our families in Pennsylvania, we would take the time to visit the 3 graveyards where my mom, some grandparents and some other family members were buried.  We’d tidy the graves, place some flowers, and more importantly, say a decade of the Rosary for their souls.  We’d end the day with a simple meal of celebration and share past memories and photos of the deceased. 

Now that we have moved away from our hometown, it’s not been possible to visit those graves of our loved ones.  On All Souls day, however, having an old cemetery adjoining our property has made it a little easier to say a rosary there in honor of all the poor souls.  This is a ready made solution for us.  Perhaps those of you who live far from the resting places of relatives can use this same idea.

I am trying something new this year on All Souls Day thanks to Lucy.   I was shocked when this friend of mine told me that last year she and her children were visiting graves on All Souls Day and couldn’t find the grave of our stillborn baby.  See, her children had witnessed the funeral of our little baby girl and remembered being at the place where the coffin was lowered into the ground.  I had visited the grave a few times on my own, but I hadn’t been there in awhile, and I had never taken our children there.  I felt a little guilty.  So thanks to this wise friend, I am planning on visiting our daughter’s grave on All Souls Day and not only pray for her, but also to pray for all the souls of our other family members and friends.

  Say “No” to Martha and “Yes” to Mary 

Now the Martha in us is going to tell us that we are too busy for any kind of All Soul’s activity, especially since it falls on a school day this year.  I know all about this.  It seems that no matter what we want to plan, we’ll always have something else—errands to run, soccer practice, tests to study for, boy scouts, etc.  It is the plague of today’s busy family.  And so this is our Mary lesson for this month, whether it applies to All Souls Day or whatever you feel your family needs to do together—“JUST DO IT!”  Everything else will fall into place when you choose the “better part.”  Pray for guidance about this and don’t be afraid to heed to what the Holy Spirit says.  Ask right now, “God, is there something you’d like our family to do?” And remember you can always get take out pizza!

Here are some of our Family Ideas which

I thought, “We should do that.”

-Go to confession together as a family

-Plan and do a “Thanksgiving Day” activity

-Read a novel aloud together

-Visit someone in a nursing home

-Have a “Family Yard Work Day!”

-As a family, make a year’s worth of birthday cards for relatives, and mark on my calendar when I need to send them

-List prayer intentions on our refrigerator

-Ask our Pastor over for dinner

-And visit our baby's grave on All Souls day 

Prayer to say at your dinner table or cemetery on All Souls Day

(Cut and paste onto a word document and print it out.)

Little Litany of the Holy Souls

This litany was written by Dr. Blanche Jennings Thompson, Franciscan Tertiary. It is approved for private use and bears the imprimatur of Most Rev. Samuel Stritch, former Archbishop of Milwaukee.

Lord, have mercy on us. Christ, have mercy on us. Lord, have mercy on us.

Holy Souls, Pray for us.

For the souls of our families We pray Thee, O God. For the souls of our friends, We pray Thee, O God. For the souls of our enemies, We pray Thee, O God. For the souls of all pagans, We pray Thee, O God. For the souls of all priests, We pray Thee, O God. For the souls of all religious, We pray Thee, O God. For the souls of the just, We pray Thee, O God. For the souls of all sinners, We pray Thee, O God. For the Holy Souls in Purgatory, We pray Thee, O God. For those who have none to pray for them, We pray Thee, O God. O almighty and eternal God, we beg Thee to have mercy on the Holy Souls in Purgatory, especially those for whom we are bound to pray; and we ask Thee also to listen to the prayers of the Blessed Souls in our behalf. Amen.

Prayer Source: Kyrie Eleison — Two Hundred Litanies by Benjamin Francis Musser O.F.M., The Magnificat Press, 1944

Here is a short article about the Day of the Dead from CatholicCulture.org.

Día de los Muertos, or the Day of the Dead, Mexico's festive annual celebration of life —and death — takes place on November 2. The modern celebration, now an official Catholic holiday, owes its roots to the Aztecs, who devoted two full months of the year to honor the dead and assist departed souls to their final destination. During and after the Spanish conquest, the culture of the Aztecs became infused with the beliefs of the Catholic Church. Consequently, the Day of the Dead coincides with All Souls' Day, the day after All Saints' Day.

The Day of the Dead is a time of smiles, not tears. During the day, children dress in ghost and goblin costumes and parade gaily through the streets of towns and villages. Many special candies and foods are prepared for the day, such as skulls and skeletons made from marzipan, chocolate, or sugar. Bakers make sweet breads in the shape of bones, humans, flowers, and animals.

Along with formal religious ceremonies (three requiem masses), people attend more personal rituals with their families. In honor of the dead, families create brightly decorated shrines both in their homes and at cemeteries. The shrines or altars are covered with pictures, favorite items of the deceased, flowers, candies, mescal or tequila, and food, especially loaves of decorated bread.