Just Keep the Kids Busy!

     Wrong, wrong, wrong attitude. Most of us are such Marthas!  As I picked up a couple of my kids at "Strings Camp" this afternoon (where they play the violin and cello). I found myself listening to the other moms: 

   "It so nice to get the kids out of the house for a while."  "When this camp is over later this week, we are doing Art camp next week."  "I feel like I am in the car all day driving to this practice or that friend's house or the pool."  "But it is sooooo good to keep the kids busy. . ."  Hear all their comments, I  felt myself ready to chime in in agreement.  Afterall, there I was with my children at the camp, too. But something didn't feel right.  Is it our job as mothers, to just keep the kids busy? 

     Although keeping the kids busy is not so bad in itself, I believe that many of us moms fall into that parenting trap of thinking that keeping kids busy and out of trouble is equivalent to good parenting.

     In reality, this is a Martha approach to taking care of our kids.  I use the term "Martha" loosely here to refer to busyness--like the Martha in the Bible. I suspect most of us need to take a more Mary approach in our homes.  What needs and priorities do our kids have?  Are we taking time to meet these or are we just filling their time with activities to keep them out of our hair?  

   Of course this extends more importantly into our own personal lives.  Do we find ourselves just busying our own lives, going from one task to the next?  When our personal lives are more reflective and thoughtful and our priorities are in order, this can't help but spill over into the lives or our children.

Maybe we should use our Martha tendencies to write down some of our own goals for this summer to help us to be more like Mary. 

Smart Martha's Goals for the Summer: 

1. Make a morning offering every morning or some other morning prayer every day.

2. Read 3 "spiritual books" this summer.

3. Walk for 30 minutes alone with my spouse every evening.

4. Do one hour of adoration each week.

5. Spend 15 minutes each morning reading to my preschooler.

6. Do a pilates class once a week with my teenage daughter.

7. Plan and cook a good dinner 4 days a week and insist that everyone participates. (Usually easier to do in the summer.)

8. Go to confession every month. . .

Try This!

      Here is something I try to do every summer now which granted does keep the kids busy, but does so with purpose. I got this idea out of a suggestion in  a "Teaching Your Children Values" book that I read a couple of years ago.    

     At the start of every summer, and no its not too late for you to try it for this summer, I sit each school-age kid down individually and come up with goals which they would like to achieve before the end of the summer. 

      I help each kid to write these onto a notecard.  They hang this in their rooms.  I've never had to coeorce my  kids into coming up with goals which I have found acceptable.  They generally do a really good job. I encourage them to come up with goals which will help their whole person develop.   I also encourage them to be as concrete as possible.  After they have these 5-10 goals down,  I make sure they have some practical ways to go about achieving them.  So, if they want to become stronger this summer, they could set a goal of doing 50 push-ups a day.  Here is a sample of Joseph's Goals for this summer: (He is 12)

 1. Make $50

2. Be able to play "Canon in D" on the violin

3. Read 6 books for the Summer

 Library Program

4. Get to the Championships in

Swim Team this year

5. Get together with Michael and Dan

a couple of times

6. Go to confession every month. . . 

Ok.  I'm not going to lie.  It took a little coaching to get confession on the list. I simply reminded him to come up with something to keep his "spiritual self" in shape, and he came up with this.   

    My older kids, those who are 16+, have found a way to do this on their own suited to their own personality.  Most people(and kids included) like having this sense of purpose.  Often it just takes a motherly hand to guide them in the right direction.

     Some kind of  reward, recognition, or just a sticker should follow an evaluation at the end of summer.  I have yet to do this. ( That is not to say that my kids don't    accomplish their goals, but rather their mom needs a reminder to follow up.  Maybe this summer???)

Smart Martha Recipe of the Month

"Breakfast/Granola Bars" (Like the packaged ones)

These are a little heavy on the sugar, but make up for it because they have lots of healthy ingredients and are easy to make.)

1. Preheat oven to 250 degrees.

2. Grease 9x13 pan.

3. Mix 2 1/2 cups of oats in a large bowl with 2-3 cups combined of the following ingredients of your choice:  nuts, krispy rice, sunflower seeds, chopped dried fruit, coconut, flax seeds etc., etc. 

3. In small bowl, warm a 14 oz can of sweetened condensed milk in the microwave.

4. Add milk to dry mixture and stir.

5. Press into pan.

6. Bake for 1 hour.  Let cool 30 minutes.  Cut into bars.

Be as creative as you like.  Here are some of my favorites: 

 *oats, 1 cup coconut, 1 cup chopped almonds,  1 cup dried cranberries  

*oats, coconut, walnuts, flaxseed, dried pineapple

*"Protein Bar" --oats, krispy rice, peanuts, soy protein powder, one cup peanut butter added to the warmed sweetened condensed milk.  When bars come out of the oven, sprinkle chocolate chips on the top.  After a minute spread the chips like a frosting/drizzle.  

The possibilities are endless!

 The Smart Marthas from Seattle